Having Tough Talks With Your Athletes: A Coach’s Guide

‍Why Tough Talks Are a Sign of Great Coaching

As coaches, we often need to have difficult conversations with our athletes – whether it's about performance issues, playing time, or team dynamics. These conversations are essential for athlete development but can be challenging to navigate.

When done right, tough talks can:

• Strengthen trust
• Improve accountability
• Support long-term athlete growth

When done wrong, they can lead to:

• Miscommunication
• Damaged relationships
• Disengagement from the athlete

So how do you make these tough talks productive and positive?

That’s where myPerforma’s Mindset Performance Indicators (MPIs) become your greatest coaching ally.

Introducing MPIs: Your Framework for Constructive Feedback

myPerforma’s Mindset Performance Indicators (MPIs) are short post-game self-assessments that athletes complete to rate themselves on core mental and emotional traits like:

• Resilience
• Coachability
• Emotional Regulation
• Team Mentality
• Focus

This allows coaches and athletes to communicate using shared language, clear self-reflection, and actionable data trends—making tough talks not only easier but far more effective.

The myPerforma Guide to Tough Talks: Practical Coaching Strategies

Use the following best practices to support your tough conversations—and then amplify your approach using MPIs.

✅ Create a Welcoming Environment

Make yourself approachable and let athletes know you're available to talk. Set specific office hours or schedule one-on-one check-ins. When an athlete reaches out, respond promptly and show you value their initiative.

✅ Prepare Thoughtfully

Before meeting, identify what you want to accomplish. Use MPIs to review the athlete’s mental/emotional patterns, and gather specific examples. Anticipate their perspective and respect the fact they may have rehearsed what they want to say.

✅ Choose the Right Setting

Pick a private, neutral space—away from teammates and pressure-packed moments like right after a game. Emotional regulation improves when athletes feel safe and respected.

✅ Listen Actively

Before problem-solving, listen completely. Then paraphrase back what you heard: “What I’m hearing is…” or “So you’re feeling that…” This builds connection and ensures you’re both aligned.

✅ Ask Open-Ended Questions

Use questions that spark reflection:

• “How are you feeling about your progress this season?”
• “What do you think is working well, and what could improve?”
  Pair this with your MPI data to point toward actionable focus areas.

✅ Be Honest but Constructive

Don’t avoid the hard truth—but deliver it with care. Focus on behaviors, not personal traits. Use phrases like, “Your MPI score for resilience has dipped the past two games. What’s going on, and how can I support you?”

✅ Document and Follow Up

After the conversation, send a brief recap and outline any action steps. Schedule a check-in in 1–2 weeks. In between, track their MPI responses to monitor progress on the specific growth area discussed.

✅ Teach Through Modeling

Remember: how you handle these talks teaches athletes how to communicate when things get hard. Show patience, empathy, and clarity—they’ll mirror it in life, sport, and leadership.

How Coaches Use MPIs to Lead Tough Talks with Confidence

Coaches across all levels are using MPIs to:

• Take guesswork out of performance reviews
• Build athlete self-awareness before addressing concerns
• Guide one-on-one meetings with clarity and confidence
• Create a consistent culture of honest, respectful communication

“MPIs took our team culture to the next level. They gave us a way to talk about effort, attitude, and mindset without turning every conversation into conflict.”
— Club Lacrosse Coach, myPerforma User

📥 Download the Free Coach's Resource: The Tough Talk Toolkit

The Tough Talk Toolkit: A Coach’s Guide to Mindset-Based Conversations
Includes:

• 5 open-ended coaching questions for tough talks
• A one-page coaching conversation script
• Quick tips for using MPIs to track progress and follow up

Perfect for locker room conversations, post-game reflections, or scheduled athlete reviews.
👉 [Download the Toolkit Now]

Final Thoughts: From Conflict to Connection

Tough talks don’t have to create tension—they can build trust. With a structured approach and the power of MPIs, you’ll turn hard moments into growth moments.

At myPerforma, we believe coaching the whole athlete means coaching their mindset, not just their stats.

Ready to Lead Your Program with Mindset-Driven Coaching?

Join the growing number of coaches using myPerforma to measure and mentor the mindset of modern athletes.

👉 [Schedule a Demo] or [Start Your Free Trial]